When it comes to sexual assault, we’re wasting our time shouting into a void.
As women/femmes, we can’t help but feel like we should be moving past the point of teaching full-grown-ass-men about what is and isn’t consent, what constitutes rape, what men are “allowed” to say to women in public and how drunk women can be while still hit-on-able.
Louis C.K. is a particularly disturbing example of someone who “knew better.” He made jokes like he “got it,” he created dynamic female characters on the show “Better Things” about a single mom raising three daughters, he produced Tig Notaro’s “One Mississippi”, a show about her real-life laden with complex and delicately articulated feminist issues.
In his apology letter, C.K. wrote refers to himself as being “widely admired,” when he should have said “widely powerful.”
We have to break down all types of women’s oppression to get anywhere with sexual abuse.
The problem we’re having is not a male/female clash, but a powerful/powerless clash.
In all of the industries these abusers are in, women are underrepresented in leadership positions. Since it’s inception, Hollywood (Kevin Spacey, Harvey Weinstein) has been a white men’s club. While the representation of women has inched forward, it has a long way to go.
The same story applies to music (Jesse Lacey, Twiggy Ramirez) and comedy (Louis C.K., Bill Cosby).
Men and women both tend to give more power and admiration to men. We have to stop and examine that urge to give more power and respect to the men in our everyday lives. We have ask why we do this and how the patriarchy got us here. We have to ask where our misogyny comes from, personal and cultural.
Give women power, real power, and we’ll see these abuses of male power start to decline.
And while we’re at it, take away the undeserved power of men by not watching another Louis C.K. special, buying another Brand New album, seeing another Kevin Spacey movie or voting for someone like Judge Roy Moore.
Start acting like we already live in the world we want to live in and start developing a lens for gender, power and abuses of both.