Katie Curses: An open letter to T-Mobile

Hey, T-mobile, guess what? You are the worst.
I have been a loyal customer for over 10 years and this is how you value our relationship? Seeing as though you can never remember who I am, let alone why I might be a teensy bit peeved, let me jog your memory.
It all started a few months back when I got a random $19 charge. Instantly confused, I called to inquire about the 19 bucks.
Already concerned, I just wanted to speak to a representative so I can get this issue resolved or at least hear the explanation. But no. I first have to talk to that stupid robot lady that always answers my calls.
Here is a tip: making a robot sound more human does not mean people are going to like her.
Do you have any idea how infuriating/embarrassing it is to be sitting outside of a Cold Stone yelling at a freaking robot?!! A robot, for God’s sake!
She never knows what I am saying.
“Hi, welcome to T-mobile. How may I assist you today?” said the devil-bot.
“Speak to a representative,” I said in a reasonable tone.
“Sorry, I didn’t catch that, so tell me how can I assist you today,” devil-bot said casually.
“Talk to a representative.”
“Okay, so you want to pay your bill, is that right, yes or no?”
By this point I can feel my blood start to boil, but I stay calm.
“No, speak to a representative”
“Sorry I didn’t catch that, so tell me how can I assist you today?”
“ARE YOU SERIOUS?! SPEAK TO A REPRESENTATIVE!!! SPEAK TO A REPRESENTATIVE!!!”
This proceeds until God knows when, so before I even get to a real human I am already fuming.
Luckily, this exchange went very well. The woman who helped me was super nice and explained the fee and I was okay with her answer.
But to top it all off she said that she was going to put a note on my account saying that I can get a cell phone for a discounted price, due to the fact that I was sold my phone under false pretenses. I’m not even going to get into that.
I was so happy with the service that I told everyone about it and I even took a survey about my experience. For all I know I could be responsible for this woman’s raise.
I mean, I don’t know that for a fact, but I like to think I was.
More recently, I had my cellphone stolen, which was super lame, but I was just happy that I could get a phone for a discounted price.
So I call customer service, deal with that freaking robot for a while and then talk to some guy. This guy, for lack of a better term, was kind of a tool.
Actually, he was a huge tool. Like a giant hammer or something equally as huge, but I digress.
First, I tell him my phone was stolen and I need to put a hold on my services. The next order of business was to order my discounted phone.
This is where everything goes down hill.
He first informs me that I will not be receiving a discounted price on the phone because my contract was not up. Now mind you I had just had my phone stolen, so my mood was rather sour to begin with, but I calmly explain the situation and I ask him to go over the notes.
Thirty seconds later, he says there was nothing in the notes. He pretty much insinuated I was lying and that there was nothing more to discuss. At this point I am royally peeved and I hang up.
After I gathered my thoughts I called back.
This time I talked to a woman that was competent and sympathetic to my situation. She goes through the notes and guess what? She found what I was talking about! What a surprise!
But, since the woman who wrote the note made a mistake, this second lady had to transfer me to the loss prevention department so they could do an investigation to make sure I was not lying!
I talk to another guy and he says he will call me back in 24 hours. Well, 24 hours rolls around and what do you know? No call!
So I have to call back deal with the idiot robot and talk to someone else. She tries to get the supervisor to talk to me, but he refuses! Are you kidding me, T-mobile?!
All I wanted was to know when I could get a new phone, but no that is too much of an inconvenience!
So this third lady tells me to wait for a few days and they should get back to me.
Well four days go by and no one calls me so I am on my last nerve.
I called back AGAIN and tell yet another lady about what happened.
You know what she says to me? “I’m sorry about that, you want me to give you that discount?”
I was floored. You’re telling me I could have had my phone a week ago? Some random person is able to give me a discount!
At this point I couldn’t have cared less about the whole ordeal; I was just happy to have a phone being sent.
I was happy that things were taken care of. She asked me if the shipping address is the same as the billing address and I made sure to tell her no, because my billing address is for my old place in Washington. The last thing I wanted was to have my phone sent there.
So she told me everything was “a go” and my phone should be there in three days!
Three days later I get a phone call from my mother.
“Hey did you order a phone?” she asked.
“Yes, I did. Why do you ask?”
“Well they sent it here.”
Are you kidding me?!
Why would someone even ask for my information if they are going to disregard it?
Now my mom has to pay for shipping.
I was so ready to forget about everything, but no, you had to send it halfway across the country!
I call back one more time and now I am really furious!
I told them that they’d better have a discount on my account and reimburse my mother.
The first part was easy but the second part took forever. I was bounced from department to department until someone could do it!
That’s what happened, T-mobile. I hope you are proud of yourself!
You already price gouge like it’s nobody’s business and then you have the nerve to yank my chain at ever point possible!
I am going to end this how I started.
T-mobile: You are in fact the worst.