Dear CCN: Love Advice

Your questions answered by our gurus

 

Communication is important for relationships, but how can you actually foster good communication?

 

K: Everyone knows communication is key, but it should be the key which opens that pandora’s box of interaction rather than locking it shut. To maintain good communication in a relationship, it takes understanding and patience of both parties. It takes understanding that, in a certain situation, we as people may not always know how best to express; whether it be jealousy, confusion, anger, fear or even indifference. When feelings can be misunderstood or unintentionally miscommunicated, it takes patience in talking and working it out until each person can be on the same page. Most often, we don’t give a situation enough time for feelings to be fully comprehended or thought about and discussed properly. Rome wasn’t built in a day and good communication wasn’t born overnight.

 

F: Shut up and listen. I’ll say it again: Shut up, and listen. Just in case you didn’t get the nuances of that phrase I’ll go ahead and break it down for you: “shut up” means to keep quiet,and that is a lot harder than it seems; you need to shut the mouth in your brain that keeps trying to come up with witty retorts to everything your counterpart is saying. “Listen” means you need to try to understand what your partner is actually trying to communicate. Of course, if you’re a man you can do all of this and your words will still be twisted into something she can use as emotional ammunition in the future.