R.I.P. professional sports

By Samuel Goldman/[email protected]
Sports Blogger

Professional sports were once viewed as an affordable form of entertainment. Kids had the opportunity to witness local heroes perform in the same uniform every night. Every morning civilians scanned newspaper box scores. I recall witnessing balanced teams duke it out every night. These activities have become a scarcity in the modern world. I believe professional sports are going through a global warming crisis. The difference is it isn’t preventable.


The majority of the most popular American sports’ schedule remains irrelevant. Commissioner Roger Goodell suffers from boxing syndrome. The best teams don’t play one another. I receive a headache. This isn’t the Super Bowl, let me watch a play. I’m predicting that concussions will end up ruining the sports’ long-term success.


We should focus on Major League Baseball’s ability to sell out games in 2014. The Florida Panthers should copy some of their giveaway ideas. Professional baseball is so popular it relocated its winter meeting to San Diego. Were Chargers fans given tickets to the event after last week’s loss? The good news is the steroid era appears to be dormant.


NBA 2K15 has received widespread mainstream success. Video game popularity reflects the league’s financial success, right? Wrong. The NBA still lacks teams in a few major markets a problem that could be solved by bringing back the Seattle Supersonics. I chose to ignore the super team dilemma because it already spread faster than poison ivy.


The Florida Panthers are the poster child for everything wrong with professional hockey. Go ask new billionaire owner Vincent Viola if money can buy happiness. I’m glad I purchased game center live, someone find me when the season starts becomes relevant. Professional hockey is a beautiful game ruined by non-traditional markets.


America has a professional soccer league. This isn’t a hipster joke. It’s the real deal. I had the opportunity to attend a Seattle Sounders match last summer and it was the best night of my life. Watching soccer is like reading a book adaptation of a movie: it’s only good live. You just missed the MLS Cup LA won. There will always be another season.