Dear China

Dear China,

My boyfriend has been taking me for granted. He doesn’t care whether I’m there or not until he’s going through something, or needs someone to comfort him. He will often ditch me to go hang with his friends and make a plan that he will later cancel. I think I want to ask him for a break, but it’s his birthday coming up and if I take a break now he might be too mad to get back together. I don’t want to be selfish by taking a break, but the stress of this relationship is giving me really bad anxiety and affecting my mental health. I don’t know what to do.


Invisible Ann

Photo credit: Hadia Saleh

Dear invisible Ann,

I see your dilemma. I have to tell you, there is no one that should make you feel less than. You are special and don’t deserve for anyone to tell you otherwise. If you need a break to gather yourself for your mental health, then no matter whats going on with them you need to tell your partner and they should respect that. A thing may not work out, and a break may be the beginning of a breakup, but if you stay in a toxic relationship it will affect you and your mental health.

Taking care of yourself is of utmost importance. A break is not the only option. Another option is telling them how this is making you feel. If you try to write it down before you say it, or practice, you can figure out plainly what you want to say before you get in there to talk. I don’t want to tell you what to do, or encourage you to break it off when it could be fixed with an honest conversation. Just know that you know how you should be treated and if that’s not happening then you need to take action. Relationships are important but don’t let that be your whole life. I hope this helps and be sure to think about what could happen if you go through with a break.